i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
