last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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