I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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