Your tits are I can't wait for
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
