If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
