I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
