So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I am naked and annoyed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
