I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
