....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
