I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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