so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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