I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
