It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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