You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
