So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
