im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
