Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
