Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
