Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
