Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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