After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
