I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
