Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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