Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
