I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
