i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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