I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
