"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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