even my farts smell like vagina
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
