Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
