Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
