I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
