Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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