Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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