I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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