she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
