woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
