Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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