you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
