it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
