people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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