You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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