woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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