is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
