he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
