ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
