she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
