Do you still have your period?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
