i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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