for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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