This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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