but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
tell me about the eggs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
