Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
