Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
