new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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