do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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