party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
