hell yes lets make some ravioli
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
