Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
