I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
do nipples grow back?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
