dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
